Doing it: A column of lust and love
Relationships are truly paramount to the human condition but not all are created equal. All have their share of challenges and benefits but long distance relationships in particular are written off as undoable.
Some people have probably even advocated a name change from long distance relationship to “Lonely Disappointing Relationship.” The truth is, there are long list of misconceptions concerning long distance dating.
You never see each other.
False. Although LDR’s add the difficulty of distance, it does not mean you don’t see your significant other. The same argument has been made for couples dating in the same dorm room for ages. If you want to see someone, you make it happen.
You don’t truly get to know the other person.
False. With the establishment of the postal system, the advent of the Internet or the cellphone, there is no excuse to not truly get to know the other person. Some stickler will surely ask if you can really learn all of their idiosyncrasies. Again, this is not unique to long distance couples. Furthermore, what an infinitely regressive standard to date by. Getting to know the other person is supposed to be the fun part, not a reason to avoid them altogether.
They are hard.
True. LDR’s are not easy, but few relationships are. Like any other relationship there are the ups and the downs but they all can be successful.
Now that some basic concerns have been discussed we can focus on some of the forgotten advantages of long distance dating.
The first benefit is the emphasis it puts on good communication. For any relationship to be healthy, that is a cornerstone.
Without the ability to see each other all the time there is a strong incentive to be creative. Utilizing the postal service, text messages, phone calls and Facetime all offer unique advantages to staying in touch. LDR’s are forced to put emphasis in areas other than being physical. This can avoid the false positives of love experienced through orgasms.
Another overlooked benefit is the ability for individuals in LDR’s to be futuristic. Partners always talk about when they get to see each other next. This can be very uplifting opposed to being completely consumed with the remedial activities of the day, or the mistakes of the past.
There are disadvantages; from the very obvious cuddle issues while in different time zones, to the more subtle, like not getting to see the emotion on their face when the response to a comment is just, “OK…”
The saying used when talking about relationships is ‘there are a lot of fish in the sea,’ so why confine yourself to just a small puddle?
When it comes to long distance relationships, instead of writing them off maybe you should start writing.
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